18. J'en ai bien l'impression.
pronounced more or less: zha nay byenh linh preh see onh
Make a liaison between en and ai. Nasalize bien and the last syllable of impression.
Literal translation: I of it have well the impression.
Variant: J'ai bien l'impression.
Meaning: It certainly seems so to me. / That's certainly my impression.
Remarks: This expression can be used two ways. Firstly, simply to accentuate one's impression. Secondly, to challenge another person. In this latter scenario, j'en ai bien l'impression is the equivalent of: "It certainly looks that way...prove me wrong or step off." This use of the expression may also be designed to get juicy information out of the other person. The speaker's intention is usually obvious.
Example One (accentuating one's impression): You're heading towards the hills for a late afternoon walk and cross paths with Robert and Maurice, who are heading back into town. Unless they're sick or the weather far too inclement, their afternoon routine is set: déjeuner, sieste, promenade. The formula seems to be working: Maurice is over 90 years old and Robert is well into his 80s.
Observing village etiquette, you all stop to exchange a few words before continuing on your respective ways. "It's going to rain again tonight," Robert offers matter-of-factly. "J'en ai bien l'impression," confirms Maurice, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Sighs all around. Then Maurice intones the conventional, "it will be good for the plants." No one mentions the past three weeks of rain. Instead you all shake hands and part company, complicit in the Cévenol attitude of perseverance.
Example Two (challenging the other person): You're at the local boulangerie-épicerie buying bread, yogurt and an eggplant. The caissière announces a total of 9 euros 45! Perhaps you misread the price per kilo for the eggplant? But still... Before you have a chance to protest, Christine takes your 10 euro note, hands you change and procedes to the next customer. She's clearly in a bad mood today. Outside you study the receipt then turn on your heels and head back in. Christine glances at the ticket and tells you that the eggplant must be a particularly heavy one. You're thinking, "n'importe quoi!" But you respond, "I don't think so."
"J'ai bien l'impression," she counters, thinking that will close the matter. But you insist that she re-weigh the eggplant. Quelle surprise! The new electronic register has malfunctioned or she's hit a wrong key; in any case, you get a refund. No apology though. That would not be French...j'en ai bien l'impression.
GOT GAUL?
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
Tout le plaisir est pour moi.
17. Tout le plaisir est pour moi.
pronounced more or less: too leuh play zir eh poohr mwah
Literal translation: All the pleasure is for me.
Meaning: It's my pleasure. / The pleasure is all mine.
Remark: Tout le plaisir est pour moi is an elegant response to someone who has expressed appreciation. It is more generally used by men than women. While it conveys a compliment to the person being addressed, it also suggests the humility and generosity of the person from whose lips it passes. I suppose we could interpret it as fawning...but why not enjoy the graciousness of the moment instead?
Careful! Tout le plaisir est pour moi and the shorter, perhaps more commonly known expression avec plaisir are not synonymous, nor are they used in the same contexts. For instance, if you're at a dinner party and the host or hostess offers you another glass of wine, you can appropriately respond, "avec plaisir" ("yes, thank you very much"). En revanche, "tout le plaisir est pour moi," would be linguistically incorrect and even odd. You'll be the one drinking the wine so, yes, the pleasure will indeed be yours, but an expression of thanks – avec plaisir – is what's anticipated.
Example for Tout le plaisir est pour moi: You are leaving the local boulangerie-épicerie, your basket filled to the brim with supplies for the week. It's heavy, but you haven't far to go and can manage. Along the way you cross paths with Monsieur Mourgues, who's out for a stroll. He offers to carry your basket back to your place; you accept. To do otherwise would offend him and besides, he's a delightful old Frenchman who resembles a modern day Saint Nick in a baggy, plaid pantacourt and Crocs. When you arrive at the gate, you thank Monsieur Mourgues for his help. He hands you the basket, touches his right hand lightly to his chest, bends ever so slightly and says, "Tout le plaisir est pour moi, madame." You thank him one more time, exchange bises and say goodbye smiling. (Monsieur Mourgues, over 75 years old, is ageless.)
pronounced more or less: too leuh play zir eh poohr mwah
Literal translation: All the pleasure is for me.
Meaning: It's my pleasure. / The pleasure is all mine.
Remark: Tout le plaisir est pour moi is an elegant response to someone who has expressed appreciation. It is more generally used by men than women. While it conveys a compliment to the person being addressed, it also suggests the humility and generosity of the person from whose lips it passes. I suppose we could interpret it as fawning...but why not enjoy the graciousness of the moment instead?
Careful! Tout le plaisir est pour moi and the shorter, perhaps more commonly known expression avec plaisir are not synonymous, nor are they used in the same contexts. For instance, if you're at a dinner party and the host or hostess offers you another glass of wine, you can appropriately respond, "avec plaisir" ("yes, thank you very much"). En revanche, "tout le plaisir est pour moi," would be linguistically incorrect and even odd. You'll be the one drinking the wine so, yes, the pleasure will indeed be yours, but an expression of thanks – avec plaisir – is what's anticipated.
Example for Tout le plaisir est pour moi: You are leaving the local boulangerie-épicerie, your basket filled to the brim with supplies for the week. It's heavy, but you haven't far to go and can manage. Along the way you cross paths with Monsieur Mourgues, who's out for a stroll. He offers to carry your basket back to your place; you accept. To do otherwise would offend him and besides, he's a delightful old Frenchman who resembles a modern day Saint Nick in a baggy, plaid pantacourt and Crocs. When you arrive at the gate, you thank Monsieur Mourgues for his help. He hands you the basket, touches his right hand lightly to his chest, bends ever so slightly and says, "Tout le plaisir est pour moi, madame." You thank him one more time, exchange bises and say goodbye smiling. (Monsieur Mourgues, over 75 years old, is ageless.)
Monday, February 11, 2013
Puisque je te le dis...
16. Puisque je te le dis...
pronounced more or less: pweess keuh jeuh teuh leuh dee
Literal translation: Since I you it say.
Variant: Puisque je vous le dis...
Meaning: "Like I said..." / "I told you already..." / "You have my word on it."
Implications: Puisque je te le dis may be used simply to reaffirm what you've already expressed. It may also imply irritation or exasperation, in the which case the equivalent would be, "How many times do I have to tell you (anyway)?" In a further twist, Puisque je te le dis can be a verbal aggression by a speaker who feels his word is being impugned. In this case it's tantamount to, "how dare you question me? I know what I'm talking about!"
Remark: This expression is not the equivalent of "because I say so" (parce que je te le dis), which carries a dictatorial sentiment.
Example One ("it's true"): Every year there's a moment of tension between our village and the neighboring one as the two jockey to calendar dates for their biggest summer events. The Fête votive of one village invariably falls on the same date as the other's Kermesse. Scheduling the two events on the same weekend doesn't work for the vacationers, who would prefer the activities be held on separate weekends. Nor does it work for those in charge of the coffers, who would prefer the vacationers' pocketbooks be opened at their village event. Every year the same amazement can be heard when the summer events calendar is released across the valley:
"They did it again! Saumane's fête votive is the same weekend as our kermesse!"
--You're joking! Are you sure?
--Puisque je te le dis...
Example Two (the less common "you have some nerve"): You're at your small village bank to deposit a check. The majority of the villagers are elderly and prefer to trust the one and only teller to fill in any forms that need filling. In fact, the forms aren't even accessible to bank customers; the teller keeps them behind her cluttered, impregnable counter. She's a kind, generally personable lady and the transactions usually take place without a hitch. Usually. You hand her your check for 600 euros, tell her you'd like to deposit it into your savings account. She quickly fills out the deposit slip then hands it to you to sign. It reads 400 euros. You point out the mistake. No, no, she insists, the check is for 400 euros. No, no, you insist, it's for 600. Puisque je vous le dis, she says tapping the number with the tip of her pen. Case closed? Au contraire. The letters SIX CENTS EUROS are glaring up at you from the left side of the check. "I believe you have misread the number, madame."
Moral of the story: a handwritten French 4 can look remarkably like an American 6, so check those receipts folks.
Example Three: For a playful "how many times do I have to tell you before you believe me "puisque je te le dis, listen to the song Puisque je te le dis by singer-actress Jane Birkin, former companion to the song's composer, Serge Gainsbourg.
pronounced more or less: pweess keuh jeuh teuh leuh dee
Literal translation: Since I you it say.
Variant: Puisque je vous le dis...
Meaning: "Like I said..." / "I told you already..." / "You have my word on it."
Implications: Puisque je te le dis may be used simply to reaffirm what you've already expressed. It may also imply irritation or exasperation, in the which case the equivalent would be, "How many times do I have to tell you (anyway)?" In a further twist, Puisque je te le dis can be a verbal aggression by a speaker who feels his word is being impugned. In this case it's tantamount to, "how dare you question me? I know what I'm talking about!"
Remark: This expression is not the equivalent of "because I say so" (parce que je te le dis), which carries a dictatorial sentiment.
Example One ("it's true"): Every year there's a moment of tension between our village and the neighboring one as the two jockey to calendar dates for their biggest summer events. The Fête votive of one village invariably falls on the same date as the other's Kermesse. Scheduling the two events on the same weekend doesn't work for the vacationers, who would prefer the activities be held on separate weekends. Nor does it work for those in charge of the coffers, who would prefer the vacationers' pocketbooks be opened at their village event. Every year the same amazement can be heard when the summer events calendar is released across the valley:
"They did it again! Saumane's fête votive is the same weekend as our kermesse!"
--You're joking! Are you sure?
--Puisque je te le dis...
Example Two (the less common "you have some nerve"): You're at your small village bank to deposit a check. The majority of the villagers are elderly and prefer to trust the one and only teller to fill in any forms that need filling. In fact, the forms aren't even accessible to bank customers; the teller keeps them behind her cluttered, impregnable counter. She's a kind, generally personable lady and the transactions usually take place without a hitch. Usually. You hand her your check for 600 euros, tell her you'd like to deposit it into your savings account. She quickly fills out the deposit slip then hands it to you to sign. It reads 400 euros. You point out the mistake. No, no, she insists, the check is for 400 euros. No, no, you insist, it's for 600. Puisque je vous le dis, she says tapping the number with the tip of her pen. Case closed? Au contraire. The letters SIX CENTS EUROS are glaring up at you from the left side of the check. "I believe you have misread the number, madame."
Moral of the story: a handwritten French 4 can look remarkably like an American 6, so check those receipts folks.
Example Three: For a playful "how many times do I have to tell you before you believe me "puisque je te le dis, listen to the song Puisque je te le dis by singer-actress Jane Birkin, former companion to the song's composer, Serge Gainsbourg.
Monday, February 4, 2013
C'est vous qui le dites.
15. C'est vous qui le dites.
pronounced more or less: say voo key leuh deet
Literal translation: It is you who it says.
Variant: C'est toi qui le dis.
Meaning: That's what you say. / So you say.
Implications: C'est vous qui le dites immediately calls into question the validity of the comment just made and the honor of the person who made it. It expresses disagreement, is not necessarily accompanied by any explanation and attempts to put the other on the defensive by implying: "I disagree with you, so you must be wrong. What do you have to say about that?"
Remark: Yes indeed, the French do have sundry ways of letting you know that you don't. Stump them by asking if this is strictly French or is it a cross-culture tendency.
Example: Friends and acquaintances are chatting (in French) on the village square one balmy summer evening. The conversation turns to the upcoming soccer match between France and Germany. You say you're looking forward to it. Laughter. Implication: How could an American be interested in soccer? After all it's a European sport, not American.
OK, sure, soccer may not be as popular in the US as in France, but has been growing steadily since the 80s. More and more American kids are playing it and many American cities have professional teams. You politely explain this then add: "My son grew up playing soccer. In fact, I grew up playing soccer." You should definitely know whether you and your son played soccer, right? That can't possibly be called into question, right? Yet you incredulously hear a guy utter, "C'est vous qui le dites." So what's he expecting, for you to grab a soccer ball and do a David Beckham imitation? In all fairness, he may be referring to the first part of what you said, but either way...franchement. Dance him around the square singing, "C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I." He won't get that either.
pronounced more or less: say voo key leuh deet
Literal translation: It is you who it says.
Variant: C'est toi qui le dis.
Meaning: That's what you say. / So you say.
Implications: C'est vous qui le dites immediately calls into question the validity of the comment just made and the honor of the person who made it. It expresses disagreement, is not necessarily accompanied by any explanation and attempts to put the other on the defensive by implying: "I disagree with you, so you must be wrong. What do you have to say about that?"
Remark: Yes indeed, the French do have sundry ways of letting you know that you don't. Stump them by asking if this is strictly French or is it a cross-culture tendency.
Example: Friends and acquaintances are chatting (in French) on the village square one balmy summer evening. The conversation turns to the upcoming soccer match between France and Germany. You say you're looking forward to it. Laughter. Implication: How could an American be interested in soccer? After all it's a European sport, not American.
OK, sure, soccer may not be as popular in the US as in France, but has been growing steadily since the 80s. More and more American kids are playing it and many American cities have professional teams. You politely explain this then add: "My son grew up playing soccer. In fact, I grew up playing soccer." You should definitely know whether you and your son played soccer, right? That can't possibly be called into question, right? Yet you incredulously hear a guy utter, "C'est vous qui le dites." So what's he expecting, for you to grab a soccer ball and do a David Beckham imitation? In all fairness, he may be referring to the first part of what you said, but either way...franchement. Dance him around the square singing, "C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I." He won't get that either.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Non mais ça va pas ?!
14. Non mais ça va pas?!
pronounced more or less: nonh meh sah vah pah
Literal translation: no but that isn't going?
Variations: Ça va pas, non ?! / Non mais ça ne va pas ? / Ça va pas, la tête ?!
Meaning: What the heck is wrong with you anyway?! / Are you nuts or what?!
Implications: The cover of Grégoire Solotareff's children's book says it all.
In case you're not a "picture-is-worth-a-thousand-words" kind of person: Non mais ça va pas immediately positions the speaker in unequivocal opposition to whatever was just said or done. Not only is s/he opposed, s/he is stunned by the stupidity, audacity or inappropriateness of the other. How to reply? Three options come to mind:
1) Nonchalantly shrug your shoulders while pronouncing an indifferent Et alors? Expect repercussions.
2) Apologize then explain calmly what you were thinking. (You'll probably be the only one listening.)
3) Skip the apology and go directly to a counter-attack and/or condescending lecture of why you’re right.
Example: Your village boulangerie-épicerie is closed for two weeks while the owners are on vacation, so you drive 50 kilometers to the nearest hypermarché for groceries. From the cheese aisle on one side of the store, you hear very clearly what an Anglo-Saxon couple on the other side of the store will be having for dinner that night. It's as if their conversation were being broadcast over the PA system. Cultural stereotype? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.
You head for that marvel of the French grocery store, the apéro aisle – an entire aisle of things to serve during the cocktail hour. A French woman is discretely chatting with a friend. By the time she turns her attention back to her shopping cart, her child has filled it with all kinds of chips. “Non mais ça va pas ?!” she explodes with a smack of her hand, just like too many parents in too many places. Discretion be hanged. You hear yourself fire right back at her: Non mais franchement, madame, ça ne va pas ?!
Who’s the elephant and who’s the crocodile?
pronounced more or less: nonh meh sah vah pah
Literal translation: no but that isn't going?
Variations: Ça va pas, non ?! / Non mais ça ne va pas ? / Ça va pas, la tête ?!
Meaning: What the heck is wrong with you anyway?! / Are you nuts or what?!
Implications: The cover of Grégoire Solotareff's children's book says it all.
 | |
| Auteur: Grégoire Solotareff / Editeur: Ecole de Loisirs |
In case you're not a "picture-is-worth-a-thousand-words" kind of person: Non mais ça va pas immediately positions the speaker in unequivocal opposition to whatever was just said or done. Not only is s/he opposed, s/he is stunned by the stupidity, audacity or inappropriateness of the other. How to reply? Three options come to mind:
1) Nonchalantly shrug your shoulders while pronouncing an indifferent Et alors? Expect repercussions.
2) Apologize then explain calmly what you were thinking. (You'll probably be the only one listening.)
3) Skip the apology and go directly to a counter-attack and/or condescending lecture of why you’re right.
Example: Your village boulangerie-épicerie is closed for two weeks while the owners are on vacation, so you drive 50 kilometers to the nearest hypermarché for groceries. From the cheese aisle on one side of the store, you hear very clearly what an Anglo-Saxon couple on the other side of the store will be having for dinner that night. It's as if their conversation were being broadcast over the PA system. Cultural stereotype? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.
You head for that marvel of the French grocery store, the apéro aisle – an entire aisle of things to serve during the cocktail hour. A French woman is discretely chatting with a friend. By the time she turns her attention back to her shopping cart, her child has filled it with all kinds of chips. “Non mais ça va pas ?!” she explodes with a smack of her hand, just like too many parents in too many places. Discretion be hanged. You hear yourself fire right back at her: Non mais franchement, madame, ça ne va pas ?!
Who’s the elephant and who’s the crocodile?
Monday, January 21, 2013
Je rigole !
13. Je rigole !
pronounced more or less: zheuh ree gul
Literal translation: I laugh, I'm laughing.
Variations: Mais non, je rigole ! / Non, mais vous rigolez !
Meaning: Je rigole ! / Mais non, je rigole ! = "I'm joking." or "I'm just kidding."
Non, mais vous rigolez ! = "You're kidding, right?" or "You've got to be kidding!"
"Rigoler" is a regular -er verb, synonymous with rire, though more familiar. English equivalents are: 1) to laugh ; 2) to speak lightheartedly, to joke around.
Implications: Je rigole is sometimes used to whitewash a slip of the tongue, to soften a deliberately nasty comment and, just as often, to signal that you're teasing.
Remarks: In the first case, je rigole functions as a "have your cake and eat it too" expression: say what you really mean, then say you didn't mean it. It's the conversational equivalent of a courtroom motion to strike, where despite the judge's instructing the jury to disregard what it has heard, they (the jurors) inevitably retain the information. Used this way, je rigole is the poor cousin of the more elegant double-entendre, a form of speech widely used and appreciated in French culture for centuries. Patrice Leconte's film Ridicule is packed with examples.
Example One (just kidding – really): Early one Sunday afternoon we were sitting in the garden reading after lunch. It was a perfect lazy day: blue skies, nothing pressing to do, no one around aside the occasional car or hikers on their way up to St. Marcel de Fontfouillouse. We were half asleep so didn't hear the gate open. Suddenly our friends Christiane and Vincent were there, apologizing for not being on time. We're so sorry; we ran into friends at the market and one thing led to another. You know how it is... Their voices trailed off as they sat down. We looked at each other, perplexed and speechless. What were they late for? Lunch? Vincent burst out laughing: Non, mais on rigole ! We were out for a drive and thought we'd stop in to say hi.
Example Two (you'd better be kidding): Our little boulangerie-épicerie is located in the same building as the village library. The boulanger, Pascal, is an occasionally gregarious fellow that tends to tweak the truth when it suits his needs (je ne rigole pas). Today he's telling me that he can no longer afford to pay for the internet connection he needs for tracking the magazines and newspapers he sells – as a service to the village. He adds that he owns the building, lets the village use the bottom floor for the library (not entirely true), and so should be able to use the library's wifi connection, paid for by the Conseil municipal. He omits that he and the mayor have already gone the rounds on this and that the mayor has turned him down due to supposed legal issues: the library is a public service, the store is a commercial enterprise... Pascal asks me to check the wifi signal for him from within the store. I volunteer as village librarian, have all the library keys, know all the confidential codes. I take the path of least resistance and check the signal. Pascal interprets this as sympathy for his cause. He looks me in the eye and announces that since I'm headed back towards the Mairie, I can stop in and inform the mayor that we've worked everything out, that the wifi signal is strong in the store, and that all he needs now are the codes. I have absolutely no authority to make that decision. Yes indeed, the signal is strong: I'm supposed to be gullible enough to do this. My response? "Non, mais tu rigoles !" Pascal looks me over and erases the entire proposition with a, "Mais bien sûr je rigole! Je rigole !"
pronounced more or less: zheuh ree gul
Literal translation: I laugh, I'm laughing.
Variations: Mais non, je rigole ! / Non, mais vous rigolez !
Meaning: Je rigole ! / Mais non, je rigole ! = "I'm joking." or "I'm just kidding."
Non, mais vous rigolez ! = "You're kidding, right?" or "You've got to be kidding!"
"Rigoler" is a regular -er verb, synonymous with rire, though more familiar. English equivalents are: 1) to laugh ; 2) to speak lightheartedly, to joke around.
Implications: Je rigole is sometimes used to whitewash a slip of the tongue, to soften a deliberately nasty comment and, just as often, to signal that you're teasing.
Remarks: In the first case, je rigole functions as a "have your cake and eat it too" expression: say what you really mean, then say you didn't mean it. It's the conversational equivalent of a courtroom motion to strike, where despite the judge's instructing the jury to disregard what it has heard, they (the jurors) inevitably retain the information. Used this way, je rigole is the poor cousin of the more elegant double-entendre, a form of speech widely used and appreciated in French culture for centuries. Patrice Leconte's film Ridicule is packed with examples.
Example One (just kidding – really): Early one Sunday afternoon we were sitting in the garden reading after lunch. It was a perfect lazy day: blue skies, nothing pressing to do, no one around aside the occasional car or hikers on their way up to St. Marcel de Fontfouillouse. We were half asleep so didn't hear the gate open. Suddenly our friends Christiane and Vincent were there, apologizing for not being on time. We're so sorry; we ran into friends at the market and one thing led to another. You know how it is... Their voices trailed off as they sat down. We looked at each other, perplexed and speechless. What were they late for? Lunch? Vincent burst out laughing: Non, mais on rigole ! We were out for a drive and thought we'd stop in to say hi.
Example Two (you'd better be kidding): Our little boulangerie-épicerie is located in the same building as the village library. The boulanger, Pascal, is an occasionally gregarious fellow that tends to tweak the truth when it suits his needs (je ne rigole pas). Today he's telling me that he can no longer afford to pay for the internet connection he needs for tracking the magazines and newspapers he sells – as a service to the village. He adds that he owns the building, lets the village use the bottom floor for the library (not entirely true), and so should be able to use the library's wifi connection, paid for by the Conseil municipal. He omits that he and the mayor have already gone the rounds on this and that the mayor has turned him down due to supposed legal issues: the library is a public service, the store is a commercial enterprise... Pascal asks me to check the wifi signal for him from within the store. I volunteer as village librarian, have all the library keys, know all the confidential codes. I take the path of least resistance and check the signal. Pascal interprets this as sympathy for his cause. He looks me in the eye and announces that since I'm headed back towards the Mairie, I can stop in and inform the mayor that we've worked everything out, that the wifi signal is strong in the store, and that all he needs now are the codes. I have absolutely no authority to make that decision. Yes indeed, the signal is strong: I'm supposed to be gullible enough to do this. My response? "Non, mais tu rigoles !" Pascal looks me over and erases the entire proposition with a, "Mais bien sûr je rigole! Je rigole !"
Saturday, June 18, 2011
J'en ai rien à cirer
12. J'en ai rien à cirer.
pronounced more or less: zha nay reeyenh ah seeray
Variation: Je n'en ai rien à cirer.
Literal translation: I have nothing to wax from it/about it.
Meaning: "I don't give a fig." / "I don't give a rip." / "I don't give a damn."
Implications: J'en ai rien à cirer expresses total disinterest -- YAWN -- about the person or thing in question.
Remarks: rien à cirer is good for those Karate kid moments when ya just gotta tell it like it is. Of all the familiar French expressions currently used to express the sentiment "I don't give a rip, rien à cirer is the most acceptable, in the widest of circles. As always, there are examples below. For a musical example by French singer-composer Claude Astier, you can listen to his song "Rien à cirer" here: http://www.bide-et-musique.com/song/8801.html
Example One:
Imagine that your phone/Internet service provider is France Télécom/Orange, who ought to start billing for the story material they provide. Seriously. Par contre, you ought to send them a bill to recuperate financial losses caused by their unreliable service. (In fact, I once threatened to do just that and service was immediately restored -- a pure coincidence but a lovely one.)
You sit down at the computer early one morning to compose several important professional emails that absolutely must be on your clients' desk within the next few hours. When you click 'send,' your computer email program tells you there is no connection. Odd: the router box is flashing a green light for the wifi and general Internet. It's also flashing green for the phone connection, so you pick up the receiver to check. Dead. You check your router again, all looks well, but you re-boot just in case. To no avail. So you call 3900 (customer service) from your cell to ask if there's a problem with your line only or if it's a general outage. Madame FT tests the line and announces that there is no problem and no general outage either. Hmm, where have you heard that one before?
She asks if you've checked your computer. Is it on? You want to scream J'hallucine ou quoi?! but politely answer yes, of course. Next she tells you to re-boot the router. She must be reading down the list of stall tactics from her Customer Service Guide Book. You imagine "On n'en a rien à cirer" printed on its cover in big red letters.
Next she tells you that you'll have to re-initialize the system. You don't tell her, but there's no way you're going to do that because you're sure there's a general outage and that for some bizarro-world reason, the FT system isn't detecting it. Madame FT talks non-stop with useless suggestions -- pipeau effectively letting you know that this is YOUR problem and that customer service n'en a rien à cirer. Merci la France.
Example Two:
You call around to discover that no one else in the village has Internet/phone service, so you head into the closest city to send your emails at an Internet café. On the way, you spot a service van headed toward your village. Hmm. On the way home, you pass the van again, headed in the opposite direction. You hope the connection has been repaired. It hasn't. Your cell phone rings: it's the lady from Customer Service, asking if you've re-initialized the system and is your connection now working? No, you tell her. There is a general outage here, no one has service. Oh? she asks, please hold while I check the line. Yes, indeed, there is a problem; I'll notify our repair crew immediately. Is there anything else I can do for you today? No, thank you, you've done quite enough, I couldn't possibly ask for more. France Télécom customer service? Je n'en ai rien à cirer, Madame.
pronounced more or less: zha nay reeyenh ah seeray
Variation: Je n'en ai rien à cirer.
Literal translation: I have nothing to wax from it/about it.
Meaning: "I don't give a fig." / "I don't give a rip." / "I don't give a damn."
Implications: J'en ai rien à cirer expresses total disinterest -- YAWN -- about the person or thing in question.
Remarks: rien à cirer is good for those Karate kid moments when ya just gotta tell it like it is. Of all the familiar French expressions currently used to express the sentiment "I don't give a rip, rien à cirer is the most acceptable, in the widest of circles. As always, there are examples below. For a musical example by French singer-composer Claude Astier, you can listen to his song "Rien à cirer" here: http://www.bide-et-musique.com/song/8801.html
Example One:
Imagine that your phone/Internet service provider is France Télécom/Orange, who ought to start billing for the story material they provide. Seriously. Par contre, you ought to send them a bill to recuperate financial losses caused by their unreliable service. (In fact, I once threatened to do just that and service was immediately restored -- a pure coincidence but a lovely one.)
You sit down at the computer early one morning to compose several important professional emails that absolutely must be on your clients' desk within the next few hours. When you click 'send,' your computer email program tells you there is no connection. Odd: the router box is flashing a green light for the wifi and general Internet. It's also flashing green for the phone connection, so you pick up the receiver to check. Dead. You check your router again, all looks well, but you re-boot just in case. To no avail. So you call 3900 (customer service) from your cell to ask if there's a problem with your line only or if it's a general outage. Madame FT tests the line and announces that there is no problem and no general outage either. Hmm, where have you heard that one before?
She asks if you've checked your computer. Is it on? You want to scream J'hallucine ou quoi?! but politely answer yes, of course. Next she tells you to re-boot the router. She must be reading down the list of stall tactics from her Customer Service Guide Book. You imagine "On n'en a rien à cirer" printed on its cover in big red letters.
Next she tells you that you'll have to re-initialize the system. You don't tell her, but there's no way you're going to do that because you're sure there's a general outage and that for some bizarro-world reason, the FT system isn't detecting it. Madame FT talks non-stop with useless suggestions -- pipeau effectively letting you know that this is YOUR problem and that customer service n'en a rien à cirer. Merci la France.
Example Two:
You call around to discover that no one else in the village has Internet/phone service, so you head into the closest city to send your emails at an Internet café. On the way, you spot a service van headed toward your village. Hmm. On the way home, you pass the van again, headed in the opposite direction. You hope the connection has been repaired. It hasn't. Your cell phone rings: it's the lady from Customer Service, asking if you've re-initialized the system and is your connection now working? No, you tell her. There is a general outage here, no one has service. Oh? she asks, please hold while I check the line. Yes, indeed, there is a problem; I'll notify our repair crew immediately. Is there anything else I can do for you today? No, thank you, you've done quite enough, I couldn't possibly ask for more. France Télécom customer service? Je n'en ai rien à cirer, Madame.
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