J'en ai bien l'impression.

18. J'en ai bien l'impression.
pronounced more or less: zha nay byenh linh preh see onh
Make a liaison between en and ai. Nasalize bien and the last syllable of impression.
Literal translation: I of it have well the impression.
Variant: J'ai bien l'impression.
Meaning: It certainly seems so to me. / That's certainly my impression.
Remarks: This expression can be used two ways. Firstly, simply to accentuate one's impression. Secondly, to challenge another person. In this latter scenario, j'en ai bien l'impression is the equivalent of: "It certainly looks that way...prove me wrong or step off." This use of the expression may also be designed to get juicy information out of the other person. The speaker's intention is usually obvious.

Example One (accentuating one's impression): You're heading towards the hills for a late afternoon walk and cross paths with Robert and Maurice, who are heading back into town. Unless they're sick or the weather far too inclement, their afternoon routine is set: déjeuner, sieste, promenade. The formula seems to be working: Maurice is over 90 years old and Robert is well into his 80s.

Observing village etiquette, you all stop to exchange a few words before continuing on your respective ways. "It's going to rain again tonight," Robert offers matter-of-factly. "J'en ai bien l'impression," confirms Maurice, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Sighs all around. Then Maurice intones the conventional, "it will be good for the plants." No one mentions the past three weeks of rain. Instead you all shake hands and part company, complicit in the Cévenol attitude of perseverance.

Example Two (challenging the other person): You're at the local boulangerie-épicerie buying bread, yogurt and an eggplant. The caissière announces a total of 9 euros 45! Perhaps you misread the price per kilo for the eggplant? But still... Before you have a chance to protest, Christine takes your 10 euro note, hands you change and procedes to the next customer. She's clearly in a bad mood today. Outside you study the receipt then turn on your heels and head back in. Christine glances at the ticket and tells you that the eggplant must be a particularly heavy one. You're thinking, "n'importe quoi!" But you respond, "I don't think so." 

"J'ai bien l'impression," she counters, thinking that will close the matter. But you insist that she re-weigh the eggplant. Quelle surprise! The new electronic register has malfunctioned or she's hit a wrong key; in any case, you get a refund. No apology though. That would not be French...j'en ai bien l'impression.

N'importe quoi

7. N'importe quoi ! / N'importe quoi...
pronounced more or less: nanh por teuh kwah OR nanh port kwah
A literal translation is senseless for this expression, so let's opt for literal meaning: "anything." The verb "importer" in this case = "to matter."
Variants: C'est n'importe quoi !
Implications: This expression is an instant, negative judgment, a "put down," if you will. It's the equivalent of: "What bunk!" / "What nonsense!" / "Whatever..." or if you're from New England, "wadehvah." It's more a reaction to what has just been said than to what has just been done, but can be used in both instances.
Remarks:  N'importe quoi is not necessarily pejorative; it can also be used to mean simply "anything," in the sense that "it doesn't matter; anything will do."

Example One: You're out for a walk and stop to read the announcements posted on the board of the village square. One proposes an activity for this Sunday afternoon, from three to five in the village's Salle polyvalente (multipurpose room). Two euros for adults; anyone under 6 free... The event organizer is also its facilitator: the local restaurant's proprietor, better known for her avarice and empty headedness than her cuisine. The poster invites us to her slide presentation and talk on Spain, Goya, Andalusia and flamenco (both dance and music), followed by a no-host apéro and a dance lesson (rock -- je ne vois pas le rapport), using a DVD purchased at our boulangerie-épicerie. This is the perfect moment to mumble "n'importe quoi..."

(Apparently the rest of the villagers felt the same way; the event was canceled for lack of interest.)


Example Two: Unfortunately, numerous asinine statements (hallucinantes !) made on the heels of the earthquakes, aftershocks and tsunamis that hit Japan last week provide us with too ample opportunity to use this expression. This by Anne Lauvergeon, president of the French state-owned nuclear energy company Avera :"I believe we are going to avoid a nuclear disaster." Another by Eric Besson, French Minister of Industry: "This is certainly a serious accident but not a nuclear catastrophe." And from the WHO (OMS in French): "The public health risks are minimal for Japan."  C'est n'importe quoi !